2. Any food item with the words “diet,” “light,” or “high fiber” on the label.
3. Any video starring Sylvester Stallone or Jim Carrey.
4. Flowers from a hospital’s gift shop–or worse, a mortuary’s.
5. Any household appliance, power tool or other item from the harder side of Sears.
6. A gift certificate.
8. Anything you could have bought at the gas station mini-mart on the way over, even if you didn’t.
9. An apologetic look and the words “That was today?”